Friday, December 12, 2008

Top 10

Well, look what we have here. It's the end of 2008! Where has all the time gone? What have you done? Blah blah blah. Well, I hope all two people who even read these things have had a megafantasticool year. That's right, megafantasticool. Look it up.

I was reading the latest issue of TIME Magazine, which is their apparently annual Top 10 Lists issue. It has lists of all kinds of crazy things pertaining to 2008, from discoveries to breakups to olympic moments to bank slogans. There's even a Top Ten Fashion Faux Pas list that I really, really, really couldn't care less about.

But I thought I'd comment about some of the things chosen for these lists.

From "Top 10 Discoveries"
1) Snow on Mars - I love space but honestly I don't remember reading or hearing about this one.
3) Fetus in a man - That's just wrong. Don't eat unborn babies, people.
6) iPhone "Kill switch" - This was the thing where Apple said they could remotely disable an app that it deemed unworthy of living. Interesting news at the time, but so far nothing has come of it. Not a top 10 discovery for sure.
7) Seven human feet washed up on Pacific Northwest coast - This is what happens when you protest the Supersonics leaving Seattle.

From "Top 10 Medical Breakthroughs"
5) New Genes Unlock Alzheimer's - I hadn't heard of this, but we've apparently kinda sorta figured out why Alzheimer's causes brain cells to die. Very encouraging.
All the rest) I have no idea what kinds of implications they have. Can someone please explain them to me?

From "Top 10 Quotes"
1) "It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America." - I don't think the impact of these words by President-elect Obama have really hit me yet.
3) "Think of us like a coast guard." - Yeah, Somali pirates who hijack other people's ships should be thought of as a crew of respectable officers keeping the peace in international waters. Nice.
8) "I thought I'd host an end-of-the-world party, but the media might take it seriously." - Stephen Hawking apparently said this regarding the enabling of the Large Hadron Collider. You know, I missed this at the time, but I'm just so amazed that the guy is still kicking and has a good sense of humor.

From "Top 10 Movies"
I haven't seen ANY of these movies they listed!!! How lame am I?

From "10 Coolest iPhone Apps"
3) AP Mobile News Network - Last I tried it, it took forever to "refresh" news and even then the stories were days old. Deleted it the next day.
4) Ocarina - Are you serious!??!?!
6) Adrenaline Pool Lite - You can actually play a very fun pool game online in real time w/ others. Not on my top 10 though.
7) Instapaper - Allows you to download and view web pages offline. Haven't tried it but I heard it's good. Definitely handy for a not-always-online iPod Touch.
10) Fake calls - Really, how often do you need to pretend you're getting a call? Terrible list, TIME.

From "Top 10 Green Stories"
7) Polar Bear Listed - the polar bear is now listed as "threatened" on the Endangered Species list due to global warming. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ManBearPig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10) Oxford English Dictionary Word of the Year: Hypermilling: driving to get extreme mileage out of your gas - I've NEVER heard of this term. Have you?

From "Top 10 songs"
I have not heard any of the songs on this list, with the exception of Beyoncé's "Ladies (Put a Ring on it)" at #7. Am I totally out of touch?

From "Top 10 Gadgets"
1) Optoma Pico PK101 - A $400 pocket-sized projector that connects to your iPhone/iPod and projects pictures/movies on a wall up to 8 feet away? Frakking cool!
3) Apple iPhone 3G - Yeah, iPod Touch's big bro.
6) Sennheiser MX W1 Wireless Headphones - Wireless earbuds. I've been asking for these for years, and now they finally have 'em! And they can be had for.. only... $499...
8) Amazon Kindle - Amazon's eBook reader is pretty good, I hear, but sadly I don't read books these days.

From "Top 10 Animal Stories"
2) New First Pup - An online poll suggested the Obama kids get a poodle. F*ck no!! Not a DAMN POODLE! WHO WANTS A FRAKKING POODLE?!!? AAAAAHHHHHH! If I'm forced to see news stories about the presidential poodle... ARRRGHH!
4) Navy Trumps Whales - "studies have shown that some sonar pulses may damage whales' and dolphins' hearing.." as well as their "ability to mate, find food, and navigate." ...thus begins the story of Ecco the Dolphin.
7) World's Longest Insect - Phobaeticus chani is 22 inches long with its legs fully extended. That's two inches longer than the diagonal of the computer screen I'm looking at right now.

"Top 10 Food Trends"
Take a look for yourself. I've never heard of any of them. Have you?

Well, there we have it. If you want to read the complete lists, go to

Next, if I can work up the time and creativity, I'll make some top 10 lists of my own, starting with the easiest: top iPod Touch apps.