Crazy iPhone 5 Prediction

If you haven't been living under a rock, you probably know that this past week Verizon announced that iPhone 4 (or iPhone in general) is finally going to be available on Verizon's network. Once the excitement wore off, I got to thinking. Actually, I started thinking this several weeks before the announcement, since the rumor mill had been reaching a fever pitch, and I was skeptical.

So as you probably know, up until now there has always been a new iPhone released every summer. That is, in the US, there has always been a new iPhone on AT&T's GSM data network every summer. And since the GSM iPhone 4 came out on AT&T's network last summer, it would logically follow that the iPhone 5 (or whatever Apple decides to call it) will be released for AT&T customers this summer.

But where does that leave Verizon? iPhone 4 is going to be released on Verizon's CDMA network on Feburary 10, a full 7 months after iPhone 4 debuted on AT&T's service. If Apple keeps their release schedule on Verizon similar to AT&T's, that means that iPhone 5 will come to AT&T this summer, while Verizon will have to wait until February 2012 to get the iPhone 5. This makes absolutely no sense.

So here's my wild theory, based on absolutely no real evidence.

CDMA iPhone 4 comes out on February 10 on Verizon as planned. Then, in the Spring, the white iPhone 4 will not come out, despite what Apple said last October. In June, Apple will announce a simple iPhone refresh, probably still called iPhone 4 or something. In this refreshed iPhone 4, Apple will nix the 16GB version and lower the price of the 32GB version by $100. They will also introduce a 64GB model, a first for iPhones. The A4 processors in these iPhones will also receive a minor speed boost. And finally, these new iPhones will be sporting a new hybrid CDMA/GSM cellular chip, which will make it so that the phones work on any carriers' networks, but unfortunately will only see wide usage for a year. This is because in summer 2012, an LTE-based iPhone 5 will be released on both Verizon and AT&T.

Game Review - Soosiz

Soosiz - $1.99 (Appshopper Link)

Mario-style platforming games are kind of a hit or miss with the iPhone's on-screen controls. Depending on how the developer implements the buttons, it could be very bad (like Mega Man II), or very good, like the game I'm reviewing right here. For action-platforming games, reflexes are key; being able to jump at a moment's notice to avoid an enemy or obstacle is the difference between life and death. The problem with on-screen controls is that there's no physical feedback for your finger to know whether you've pressed the "right button" (read: the correct part of the screen). In the iPhone port of Mega Man II, I too often found myself pressing not the jump button, but just one or two pixels to the left or right. Yes, that's a problem.

With Soosiz, on the other hand, the developers did a great job. The jump button is big and responsive, as are the buttons to run left and right.

So you're probably wondering "So what is Soosiz? Why is its name so funny?" Well, I can't answer the second question, but I can answer the first. Soosiz is unique in that it takes the 3-D Super Mario Galaxy style gravity mechanic and removes one dimension, to give you a rather fresh side-scrolling (and rotating) experience. In this game, "down" for your character is essentially the center of mass of the platform he's currently standing on.

You play as this strange yellow circle with big feet, big eyes, and green spiky hair. If I didn't know any better, I would think he's a mutated Goomba.

The levels are set up as a collection of worlds broken down into about 6 stages each, along with two or three bonus "collect all the blue coins" stages. The goal in each normal stage is to rescue all your buddies who have been scattered across the land. Some of them grant you special powers like higher jumping and faster running, which last until that stage is complete.

The gravity mechanic alone makes it worth checking out, though if you get dizzy easily, you may want to skip this one.

Soosiz comes in four flavors: iPhone/iPod touch full version, iPhone/iPod touch Lite, iPad full version, and iPad lite. Check out the appropriate lite version to see for yourself.

Check out my Soosiz screenshots at Picasa Web Albums

Game Review - SkullPogo

Skullpogo - $1.99 (Appshopper link)

I really should have written this as a Halloween post, but I guess better late than never. Skullpogo is another simple game that you can pick up and play for a few minutes. As the name implies, you control a skeleton dude on a pogo stick, whose lot in life is to bounce forever and knock out pigs, zombies, bats, black cats, and other pesky creatures. You slide your finger across the bottom of the screen in order to move, and there are on-screen button to control the height of his bounce: low, medium, and high.

The goal, of course, is to get a high score, and in order to do that you try to get special combos. There are also powerups that will allow you to do things like take out multiple enemies at once, or slow enemies down to make it easier to catch them.

There are three different stages: Halloween, Farm, and Classic, each with a different backdrop and slightly different play modes. Skullpogo also includes Openfeint support for tracking high scores and granting Achievements for those who perform special feats.

Skullpogo is a nice game to play for a few minutes at a time, but that's not to take away from its variety. It's very unique, and a lot of fun.

Check out my Skullpogo screenshots here.

Game Review - Bit Pilot

Bit Pilot - $0.99 (Appshopper Link)

Video games have been around for a bit over 30 years now, but in that relatively short time, they've evolved considerably. Just about every aspect of gaming has changed - the graphics, the storytelling, the exposure, and the types that are out there. We've got billion dollar companies churning out games with budgets bigger than Hollywood movies and teams of more than 100 people. Yet despite this shift (or maybe because of it) a new subgenre has emerged in the gaming world - "retro games".

Originally it just included remakes or rereleases of old classics, mainly for nostalgic reasons. You're familiar with these classics: Namco's Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man series, Pong, Space Invaders. For whatever reason, people of a certain age like going back to these games in spite of the availability of games that are, at least on the surface, far superior.

Then came the arrival of a new type of retro game. This new type of retro game can be any genre, such as puzzle, action, shooter, etc. but usually includes some or all of the following traits: low-resolution pixelated graphics, 8-bit electronic "chip-tune" music, simple, vibrant color schemes, and lack of a meaningful storyline.

Bit Pilot is one of those new types of retro games. It's not a remake of a classic from the 70s or 80s, but it looks as if it could have been. The premise is simple. You're in an asteroid field and you're supposed to navigate your little ship to avoid the rocks and collect medicine-looking things for points. That's it. That's the whole game. Pixelated graphics? Check. Awesome chiptunes? Check. Storyline? Nope.

You control your little dot of a ship by swiping in the appropriate direction with your thumb. To accelerate faster, you use both you left and right thumbs. This is necessary when you get to the higher levels and the rocks move much faster. Some of the medicine things add a layer of shields to your ship, allowing you to take more damage. Occasionally a big laser beam comes and covers the whole horizontal length of the screen, so your reflexes are important.

As mentioned in my Tilt to Live review, these kinds of simple games that you can pick up for a few minutes to go for a high score are tremendously ideal for the iPhone platform. And in spite of this simplicity, there remains a motivation to keep playing. The game records your total score across all plays, and at certain point totals another song is unlocked, allowing you to listen to said song while playing. When you unlock all 3 songs, your next goal is to unlock iPhone wallpapers. Your single-game scores in both Easy and Normal modes are also posted to the online, OpenFeint-enabled leaderboards so you can see how you're doing against others in the world (though the game claims that you're being compared to the rest of the galaxy).

For $1, I'd recommend it for sure, especially if you like chiptunes.

Old-school title screen ftw?

I died shortly after taking this screenshot.

Wallpaper A unlocked!

Game Review - Tilt to Live

Tilt to Live - $2.99 (Appshopper link)

Many have attempted to bring big budget, full-featured games from consoles and computers to the portable, small-screened iPhone. Some games turn out well, but many of them suffer from the small screen and the lack of physical buttons. This is why certain types of games really excel on the iPhone and others don't.

Tilt to Live is an example of a simple game that really takes advantage of what the iPhone can do, while not trying to do something that the iPhone can't do. But don't let the term "simple" fool you.

With that out of the way, here's what the game is about. You control what is basically a white arrow on a rectangular playing field the size of your iDevice's screen. In gamer lingo, it's a 2-D overhead view game. Red dots appear on the screen and constantly try to kill you by touching you. Your goal is to use the iPhone's tilt controls to move the white arrow and avoid the red dots - hence the name 'Tilt to Live'.

But it's not just a survival and avoidance game. Along with the red dot enemies, weapons appear randomly which you can use to destroy the dots. There are eight weapons in all, and three of them - nuke, hadouken (my name, not theirs), and homing missiles - are available from the beginning. As you play the game and achieve certain feats, you gain Agon points. At certain Agon point levels you unlock new weapons. Achieving these feats is half the fun, and obtaining and using the new weapons is the other half of the fun. Eventually you get a freeze blast, detonating shield, spiked shield, lightning shield, and finally the "burnicade" which creates a temporary fiery wall that kills any red dots that come in contact.

Tilt to Live is a great twist on the "survive as long as you can and try for the high score" type of game. Even though you may die quickly at first, there is always an incentive to try again, whether it's to get a better score or to unlock the newest achievement/weapon.

But wait, there's more! What I described above is just one of 4 play modes in Tilt to Live, the Normal mode. Also included is Code Red, the "Normal game, but on crack," where red dots show up much faster and are many times more relentless. There's Gauntlet, in which you get no weapons and red dots are arranged in a side-scrolling "obstacle course" of sorts and you must avoid them and collect Time orbs to increase the time left on the figurative hourglass. And finally there's the newest mode, Frostbite, in which red dots start out frozen and continuously fall downward from the top of the screen. You must touch them to pop them before they reach the bottom, at which point they thaw out and come after you.

If you're looking for a game that can be either a quick time killer or something to keep you occupied on a long flight, give Tilt to Live a try.

The loading screen is always entertaining.

350 Agon points is more than enough to get all the weapons.

Choose your destiny

Red Alert!

We need a burnicade in here, stat!

Game Review - MiniSquadron

MiniSquadron - $2.99 (Appshopper link)

MiniSquadron SE - Free + DLC (Appshopper link)

Every time I do a game review I grapple with the problem of what to mention and what not to mention. If I go into too much detail, I risk making the reader feel lost because he or she hasn't played the game yet. There's so much about MiniSquadron and its followup that it's hard to cover all of it without being too long-winded or overly detailed. So this time I shall endeavor to do this review in fewer than 8 paragraphs.

MiniSquadron is a great "pick up and play" game that you can turn on when you have a few minutes to kill, yet has a ton of neat things that will keep you coming back for more on your next break. You control an airplane, and your goal is to destroy all the other planes that show up in order to advance to the next wave. Visually, MiniSquadron is a cartoony 2-D side-view game with colorful and varied settings. Each area, which features 12 waves of enemies, has a unique theme, such as Face Land, whose background is littered with Moai heads from Easter Island, or Sunset Lagoon, which has a brilliant red-orange backdrop.

Like many other wave-based games, your goal is to survive 12 waves in each area and get the highest score possible. What's neat about the scoring though, is that you're not trying for a high score just to get a high score. There are certain goals to meet, and if you meet them, you unlock new planes. For example, a particular plane may be unlocked if you get 30,000 pts by the time you finish Wave 5 in Face Land. There are 56 different planes in all, and each has its strengths, weaknesses, and quirks.

Each plane also has a certain weapon type. There are 7 weapon types in all: Cannon (your standard bullets), Double Cannon, Triple Cannon, Homing Missile, Cluster Bomb, Drop Bomb, and Laser. Dividing 56 by 7, you get 8, meaning that 8 planes have a cannon, 8 planes have a double cannon, 8 planes have a laser, and so on. But not all planes are the same, even if they have the same weapon. Some may be faster but have weaker armor so you die faster. Others may be slow-moving and not very quick to turn, but have near-impenetrable armor. Finally, most of the ships have interesting and/or funny names that the creators, Studio FungFung, obviously had a lot of fun thinking up.

To make things even more interesting, powerups fall from the sky in the form of different colored stars. Powerups can make you faster, slower, invincible, invisible, shoot a burst of homing missiles, call in an airstrike, shoot a ginormous laser, or just give you extra points. Sometimes a Heart will appear, giving you an extra life. The kicker is that these hearts and stars can also be taken by enemy planes. The heart doesn't do anything for enemies, but the other powerups do, and you'll be at a disadvantage if, say, the enemy gets the Airstrike power.

I played MiniSquadron like crazy and managed to unlock all planes except the last one, which requires completing the last wave of the last area with a crazy high score. I haven't been able to complete it at all, much less get the high score. I will someday, though.

MiniSquadron is currently $2.99, and if you have half as much fun as I did, it's worth it. If you're not sure, you can download MiniSquadron SE, which contains the first 2 levels for free, and the other 6 as 3 separate $.99 download packs. I should note that MiniSquadron SE is a different game, with a new set of 56 planes and all-new areas, weapons, and powerups.

There! 8 paragraphs! For a buttload of screenshots, visit my Picasa web album.

Quick Reviews of stuff I've consumed lately.

Tales of Monkey Island Episodes 1-5 (video game)
A: Didn't know if I'd like the new character designs after playing (or watching someone play) the previous Monkey Island games. But they grew on me, and so did the story. The writers went where I never thought they would, and even though most of the puzzles were not very difficult, I was kept engaged and entertained by the twists and all the wacky characters, a trademark of the Monkey Island games.

Mirror's Edge (video game)
B: The washed out whites and the bold blues and reds really make the police state where this game takes place very unique. Mirror's Edge is the first and only "First Person Runner" game, so it's special by default. Sense of speed and desperation is always palpable, and makes parkour accessible to the most clumsy, uncoordinated of us. It's not always easy to get around, but the game teaches you what you need to do. My main complaint is that the game is too short.

Rocket Knight (video game)
B-: It's a game that can technically be finished in an afternoon. But for $7 this sidescroller starring a possum with a jetpack and sword is worth it. The cartoony graphics and lighthearted setting (if you can call an evil piggy dictator enslaving the possum land lighthearted) work well. There are some tricky puzzles but for the most part it's a lot of sword swinging and jet jumping.

Inception (movie)
A: Didn't know what to expect going in, but it is a fascinating movie. Lots of action and suspense, but also lots of deep thought. Its take on dreaming, reality, and loss was very fresh. Leo Dicaprio and co. were believable and entertaining.

Despicable Me (movie)
B+: Well done. Not too deep, but that's to be expected from a kids' movie. Very cute and funny. Steve Carrell's fake Eastern European accent was hilarious. I can totally see Michael Scott in some of the same situations. Visual effects were good. Minions were entertaining.

Bioshock (video game)
B (tentative, until I finish the game): Bioshock has been hailed by some as one of the greatest video game stories/settings ever. Perhaps the slight similarities to the Fallout series of games that preceded skewed my expectations more toward a big, epic retrofuturistic extravaganza. Instead what we have is a unique steampunk/evil carnival adventure that is somewhat claustrophobic. The claustrophobia can be excused due to the setting being a self-sufficient underwater city, but the story and setting aren't moving me that much. I've heard that it draws heavily from the works of Ayn Rand, but not having read those I suppose I am missing some of the nuances.
As a shooter, this game is good but not great. The vast array of special powers that you earn throughout tends to be a little cumbersome because you can't have them all equipped at once, and you never know which ones you're going to need at any given time.