I never blogged while we had Shadow. It just wasn't a priority. She was the center of our universe, and was the #1 priority in our lives. We woke up in the morning, and it was time to take her to do one of her favorite things - walk walk time. And then it was time to do another one of her favorite things - eat breakbreak (breakfast). Toward the end of her tragically curtailed life, we dug our heart and soul into hand-making all her meals from fresh meat, veggies, and immunity-boosting supplements. It took way more time than pouring dry kibble into a bowl, or opening a store-bought package and spooning it in. But we loved it, because it was our way of expressing our love to her, and our commitment to helping her keep at bay the dreadful monster inside of her, the cancerous mass nestled between her lungs, gradually squeezing against her air passages and likely spreading to other systems.
We are heartbroken. She passed away two days ago. This small, sweet, silly, loving, and infinitely giving lady of a dog, who entered our lives in 2019 and changed us in unimaginable ways, passed away two days ago, leaving behind a cacophony of tearful sobs and a gaping hole where she once sat, sniffed, begged, crawled, gobbled, smirked, chewed, and licked, through our every day together. The bright center of our universe has been snuffed out, and grief is creeping into the dark depths of our beings.
It's the sort of situation where people say "there are no words". But being a severely lapsed writer, I have many words. The question is how to present the words.. how to organize them, and how to coax out all the memories that will begin to drive the words onto these virtual pages. But foremost on my mind is to say that I miss you so much, I love you forever, and I keep telling myself that the silver lining is that you are no longer in this struggle with the vileness inside. It's cold comfort, though.
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